Let's Be Still
by ElleLaw
Summary: Starting life over is never easy, but what if you get a second chance at something you lost within that first life in your second one? That is exactly what happens for Alex Cabot when she leaves her life behind to run away from her abusive husband. Will she take the chance to live again?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I hope you all like this story...it's had a lot of planning. :)  
**

* * *

Casey Novak sat at her office desk drumming away at her keyboard. She was busy in the process of wrapping up her cases for White Collar eagerly awaiting her transfer to Homicide. Even though, she had done exceptionally well in White Collar the redhead was ready for a change and especially one that took a lot of skill. She'd never been known to back down from a challenge and she was more than prepared to prove herself in the District Attorney's eyes.

Hearing a knock at her door, the redhead called out, "Come in," without looking up so engrossed in her work. It was a habit she would be sure to break in the coming months. A lot would change for her, but she wasn't even on the cusp of being aware.

"Casey," Alex Cabot said softly standing before her desk.

Freezing at her ex's voice, Casey closed her eyes trying to will away the blonde figure that now stood before her. "What do you want, Alexandra?" Casey replied coolly opening her eyes and looking up into those all too familiar blue eyes.

"I came to say I was sorry, Casey." Alex replied in almost a whisper taking a seat in front of the desk, her legs were almost too shaky to stand and she didn't want to let the redhead notice.

Taking a deep breath, Casey let it out slowly to control her quickly building anger at the blonde. Feeling more in control after a few breaths, she began, "Really? You are sorry? It's been what, six years? But now you are sorry, so we are what, going to be friends now? Go out for coffee, what are you expecting to get from this?" As she finished, she pinched the bridge of her nose feeling the first of many migraines to come start to pulse through her skull.

"I came for closure Casey. I don't expect anything from you in return. I just wanted to say I was sorry." Alex replied before standing and walking to the door.

"Oh my god, Alexandra, you broke up with me six years ago right after graduating law school and have barely said one word to me in the two years I have been here, but now you apologize and leave without a decent explanation. What the hell? Talk to me damnit! I at least deserve that this time." Casey said forcefully as she stood to round the desk.

"Casey, please stay there," Alex said in almost a whisper. "I can't stay long enough to talk, I wish I could, but I have a meeting and I wanted to do this before I lost the nerve." She paused as she watched Casey pace the room something she did when she was upset or nervous.

"He did something didn't he?" Casey asked quietly.

"I have to go Casey," Alex replied just as quietly, clearly ignoring the question. "I just want you to know that I am sorry, and you were right."

"I am sorry that I was, Alexandra." Casey replied looking out the window, refusing to look at the blonde that she was still madly in love with after all these years.

"And Case, it's been 5 years 6 months and 3 days." Alex said before walking out the door. She left so fast she didn't hear Casey reply, "I know, I could never forget that day." She didn't want Casey to see her cry, she couldn't explain, she couldn't turn back time, if she could, she would change so much of that day.

Heading straight to the childcare, she quickly spotted her son, calling out, "Nicky, get your teddy, it's time to go." The barely four year old child did exactly as he was told and ran to his mother. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yes, Mommy, are we going home now?" Nicky asked as they entered the elevator.

"No, sweetheart, Mommy has to go to a meeting and you are going with me, because I won't be coming back here." Alex's statement was truer than she could explain to her son. She wished she could tell him everything, but she had been strictly advised against it until they were fully in the clear.

The drive to the Federal building passed much more quickly than she would have liked. Soon her whole world would change and she wasn't sure if she could handle it all on her own. She wished everything could be different. She wished she could tell Olivia, or Elliot, and most importantly Casey. She wished she'd had more time with Casey.

Walking hand in hand with her son, she passed through security and followed the same path she had taken for the last few weeks of this case. She'd called her husband and told him that she had this meeting. She'd told Nicholas she would be taking Nicky to the meeting with her, so she could make it home at his specified time. He of course was fine with everything; he always was as long as Alex fully complied with his every demand. If not there was hell to pay.

The last four years of her life had been spent catering to his every need. Keeping him happy, so he wouldn't yell too much, wouldn't break too many things, and god forbid wouldn't hurt her or Nicky. That's how she'd spent the last four years of her life, living in fear. It was humorous if you thought about it, she spent her life's work defending victims of abuse, to only be one herself. She would have pressed charges, but she knew the law well enough to know that his amount of money could buy him out of hell. She was trapped, there was no way out. Nicholas Cabot might as well as owned her and that alone was a chilling thought.

So, the night he beat her so badly that he broke three of her ribs and caused her to miscarry their second child, before leaving her bleeding on the living room floor to go out with his friends again, Alex called her mother.

While waiting for a DNC at the hospital, she and her mother devised a plan, one they'd been scheming for almost a year, and now it was time. Opening the door to the conference room, Alex let go of her sons hand as he saw her mother and ran to her, crying out, "Mimi."

Alex smiled at her mom, feeling tears build in her eyes as she watched her mother hug her son tight, "Hi Mom."

Standing, Liz Donnelly took her daughter's hands and squeezed gently, "Mom, am I doing the right thing?" Alex asked.

Pulling her daughter into a tight hug the older blonde answered, "Without a doubt Alexandra. You have to get safe. You have to keep Nicky safe."

As her mother let go, Alex felt tears spring to her eyes. It would be the last time she saw her and it was killing her inside. Watching her give, Nicky one last hug, she broke, "Are you sure this is the only option?"

"Yes, Alex. It's the only way. I am sorry I ever encouraged you to marry that nightmare." Liz said softly, pulling out a thick envelope. "This is full of places for you to go, and your new identities." Pulling Alex again into a hug, she whispered, "I love you so much. Please be safe."

"I will." Alex said, as a big man entered the room.

"Ms. Cabot, your detectives are here." The man said.

Walking to him, he informed her, "You and the boy will stick with me at all times. This will all go down very quickly. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she answered nervously. Turning one last time to her mother, she said, "Give Casey, Sex Crimes. She can handle it and will do the best."

Hugging Alex one more time, Liz whispered, "Okay darling, go be safe."

"I love you, Mom." Alex whispered back.

Following the man down the hall holding her sons hand she tried to keep calm. She only spoke to answer Nicky's questions. As they entered the area she was accustomed to she saw Liv and Elliot.

Running to her, Olivia spoke, "Alex! We were just told that your life was threatened!"

"That's correct," Alex answered in a monotone voice. She hated lying and had a bad feeling about this whole plan.

"Well, what's the plan? Do you and Nicky need a ride home?" Elliot asked in a nervous tone.

"No, this gentleman is escorting me to my ride. The Feds will take me home and then camp out in front of my home until the threat passes. The DA's office will be coming by the precinct for everything dealing with our case. They believe once it's out of our hands and off my desk the threat will end." Alex answered in her best authoritative voice. "So, I need you two to go there and get everything prepared. Can you do that for me?"

"Absolutely," Liv answered, as they took the elevator to the ground floor.

As the lift descended, Alex felt like her entire life was flashing before her eyes. She saw her childhood, her mother teaching her to ride a bike and braiding her hair, her father helping her with homework and teaching her how to fish in the summer, she saw her teenage years, and college, then law school and meeting Casey...

Casey seemed to go in slow motion, seeing her for the first time across the student union, asking her out, their first kiss, falling in love, moving to Manhattan to work for the District Attorney, then falling out. Had she ever really stopped loving Casey? The truth was probably no, but time was over for that life. Time ended on it when she met Nicholas.

Nicholas, who wooed her, married her and within five weeks of marriage threw the kitchen stools at her in a fit of rage. Nicholas who happened to be part of what she loved the most, Nicky, but Nicholas who'd beaten her to the point she lost their second child. Nicholas who promised to be better, but never changed, only became more violent. He robbed her of her life, he took Casey away. Now she'd take the one thing he seemed to love for the moment, she'd take Nicky to keep him safe.

As the doors opened, she picked up Nicky and held him close. Following the big man just as he'd instructed. She told her detectives goodbye for the last time, making sure to not take to long as to not draw suspicion. Crossing the street to the SUV, she left her world behind as she followed the big man exactly as he said.

Elliot looked to Liv, "We should get going. The quicker we get everything together the quicker Alex is out of danger."

"Yeah, I agree." Liv said as they walked towards their cruiser. As they reached their doors, Liv heard the engine of the SUV crank just before the explosion.

Pulling herself up off the pavement, she screamed, "Alex!" as she ran towards the remains of the SUV. Only stopping when Elliot grabbed her. She cried into his shoulder, as Federal workers came piling out of the building.

One thing was certain, Alex Cabot was dead...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am glad you all enjoyed the first chapter. Oh, and no Surfrider this is not the sequel to Out of the Woods. The sequel of Out Of The Woods will be So Far Away. Thank you for the reviews. Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride! :)**

* * *

Nicholas Cabot stood silent in his home office. Captain Cragen and Detective Stabler stood on the opposite side of the desk from him. They'd just informed him of his wife Alexandra and son Nicholas's deaths. The man was eerily quiet and unnaturally calm.

"So," he spoke, "She went to the Federal Building tonight to be informed she had a death threat against her?"

"That's correct," Cragen confirmed.

"And while there, she got into a car that had a bomb in it? And it blew up, with her and my son in it?" He questioned while holding his crystal tumbler of whisky tight in his hand.

Elliot took a breath, and replied, "Yes sir, that's correct." He was ready for this man to crack and show some emotion, he was beginning to feel like he was more upset than him.

As if his wish was a command, Nicholas Cabot hurdled the crystal tumbler across the room. It smashed all over his family portrait of him, Alex and Nicky. The rage running through the man was ever present as his face turned red and his neck veins bulged. He screamed, "That fucking bitch!" as he swiped everything, computer and all, from his desk in a fit of rage before kicking his chair across the room.

Elliot and Cragen took a step back, Elliot's hand instinctively going to his side weapon. Noticing Elliot's movements, Cragen waved him off. Speaking in a calm voice, the Captain asked, "Nicholas, is there anyone you would like us to call?"

Turning fast on his heel, Nicholas turned to face the two men. The anger and fury in his eyes was frightening. Elliot suddenly began to wonder just what went on in his late friends home that he didn't know about. He began to wonder if some of Alex's reactions and coldness in the courtroom may have stemmed from her home life. He suddenly felt very sick for never having noticed.

"No, you can't call anyone. I should have known the worthless bitch wasn't strong enough to protect him. I should have taken him away from her. She always babied him to much, and now look what that got me! A dead son! My namesake is dead because of that worthless bitch." Nicholas spat, his anger and hatred so thick it made the Captain and Detective sickly uncomfortable. "You two can leave. Thank you for informing me of my worthless wife's death and my son's."

Walking away from the office, Cragen and Elliot exited the house as fast as possible. As they climbed into the cruiser to head back to the precinct, Cragen spoke, "It's a true statement, you never know what goes on behind closed doors."

"I can't believe I am saying this, but Alex and Nicky might be better off," Elliot replied in a sad whisper as they pulled away from Alexandra Cabot's home. "How could she live like that?"

"We will never know Elliot, we never will."

* * *

Liz Donnelly walked down the hall of the District Attorney's office. She wasn't surprised to see the young ADA's light still on, Casey was known for working late hours. The last steps to the office passed far to quickly for the older blonde's liking. She'd always felt far to responsible for causing the strong willed redhead the pain she did, and now she was about to deliver news that would forever crush the redhead. She was about to break all hope for her. She knew Casey hadn't dated since Alexandra and it pained her to know just how deeply this girl loves her daughter and that she'd robbed them both of a happy future. The thought alone was enough to cause Liz to break at the sight of Casey.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Liz managed to say shakily, "Casey."

Snapping her head up, Casey's eyes met Liz's tear filled ones. "Oh my god, Liz! What's wrong?" Casey asked rounding the desk in no time at all.

"Alex is gone." Liz managed as Casey led the older blonde to the couch.

The realization wasn't setting in for Casey, or maybe it was innocent denial that would soon be forever robbed from her. "Liz, I don't understand."

As realization set in that she'd never see her daughter or grandson again, and memories of them flooded her head, Liz found it impossible to talk. She just pointed to the television in Casey's office. Confused, the redhead turned it on to the news channel to discover her worst nightmare.

The news headline read, 'ADA Alexandra Cabot and son, Nicholas Cabot III, were killed by car-bomb tonight outside the Federal Building.'

Casey suddenly felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. Without knowing how, she was suddenly on her knees, her face pressed against the cold floor as she screamed, tears falling from her eyes. The guilt that coursed through her veins, the knowing that of she'd just made Alex stay with her she could have saved her. She could have kept them safe. She could have kept them from him, she should have protected them.

She felt Liz's arms around her. Nothing could stop the pain that coursed through her veins, through her soul. She'd never have the chance to fix the mess that was the falling out of their relationship. She'd never have the chance to see her Lexie again. All she could do was hold onto Liz and cry.

Her Lexie Donnelly was gone...

* * *

 **One Week Later...**

Casey sat inappropriately dressed for the October funeral. A chill had already entered the air, and the misty air didn't help. Yet, here she sat in a simple black dress and thin green cardigan, Lexie's favorite color, and a simple pair of black heels. Her legs looked painfully pale in the darkness of the day, and her eyes shone a teary green.

She felt immensely alone despite having her brother Owen on her left side and her best friend Kim Greylek on the other. Casey felt hollow, she felt empty, she felt like she needed to be in a coffin next to Lexie and Nicky's. She was so deep in her own dark thoughts that she didn't even register the priests words. She just wanted to die.

How had things exactly fallen apart? Lexie had graduated. She moved back to Manhattan, met Nicholas, and come back and broken up with Casey, without much of an argument. Casey had thought it would be a fleeting thing, that Lex would come to her senses, but she didn't.

When Casey had come home for Christmas she'd bumped into Lex in the grocery store with her mother. She'd noticed the ring on Lexie's finger, she'd listened to how they were in love and getting married. Out of spite, Casey had told her, 'He's a monster Alexandra. He will break you down and break your soul.'

She'd been cold to the blonde. She'd never called her 'Lexie' again. It was a name she'd given Alex out of love and she refused to let her have any more of her love. She was selfish and driven by wanting fame and recognition. It's why she'd married Nicholas Cabot. He was an enormously wealthy heir to one of the biggest corporations in New York state, her father had served as his lead accountant for years. It was how Alex met Nicholas. It was the knife that tore at Casey's soul.

She felt flooding guilt. She should have forced Lexie to sit down. She should have told her all the awful things she knew about the man. She should have done something to save her. Instead she let her stay, part of her wanted to feel the same pain she'd inflicted on Casey. She wanted her to know her mistake. She'd forever be sorry.

She wished she could fix everything. She wished she could return to that night and beg Lexie to give her a minute, she wished she could tell her she didn't need to apologize because she'd never stopped loving her. Maybe she'd still be alive. Maybe Lex's little boy would still be alive.

Feeling Owen pull her into a tight hug she realized she was crying. She didn't want to be alive. She wanted to hurt, she wanted to die. Her guilt was suffocating her.

She'd never be the same. She'd never love again. Lex had taken her soul with her. It was always hers anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: We are taking a big jump forward, but information about the missing years will be filled in! To the concerns about Alex, they will be addressed, and hopefully it will all make sense. So hang in there. :) Also, yes, Liz Donnelly is Alex's mom in this story, and don't get confused, but Casey always called Alex 'Lexie' when they were together. Also, I am pulling characters from Grey's Anatomy and Walking Dead again. Thank you for the reviews. They really keep me going! :)**

* * *

 **Eleven Years Later...**

Casey Novak lay in bed looking at the dark ceiling of her bedroom. The sun had not yet rose in the morning sky, it was still to early, yet she lie awake in bed. She always woke early on this day...she always would.

Lying on her back, watching the shadows on the ceiling she thought about how she got to this point in life. How life led her to this little town in the mountains of North Carolina. A series of over zealous decisions, and one fatal bad call on her behalf led her to this point. She was overcome with guilt that all started on this day eleven years ago. It was the day she lost the woman she loved most.

With the help of her family she came to realize she couldn't bring Alex back, but she could fill Alex's place in the unit and fight to get justice for other victims and that's exactly what she did, she fought. She battled cases most prosecutors would think to try and won. Her conviction rate soared higher than any other ADA in the DA's office, and was one of the highest in the country.

She was cutthroat and distant. She didn't let anyone in after Alex's death. The only people she was close to was her brother and her best friend Kim. Consequently, it drew those two together and now they were happily married and just had a baby. However, Casey remained single never wanting to be in a relationship again. How could she love another person, when she hadn't stopped loving Lexie?

So she continued her crusade for justice much to her own detriment. After four bad cases, she got reckless needing the high of a win, needing the high of getting justice. It was the only thing that eased the pain. She lied about reports, a Brady Violation and was censured. Her three year probation would be up in July of the next year, but her desire to return was gone. She liked her new life and she owed it to the woman who'd taken the most from her.

 _"Casey," Liz Donnelly spoke sternly, "What were you thinking? A Brady Violation?"_

 _"I had the reports!" Casey argued from across the blondes desk._

 _Slamming her hands on the desk, Liz snapped, "Don't lie to me, Casey! Warner said you lied, she won't put her head on the chopping block for you to! You need to know that I reported you to the bar."_

 _Casey's breath caught in throat, "W-what is going to happen to me?" She weakly asked._

 _"Most likely you will be censured. You are probably looking at 5 years. They may take pity on you and go for less seeing your line of work."_

 _"What should I do?"_

 _The older blonde looked at the shell of the once vibrant woman she use to know so well. "Look for a new line of work Casey. This one has hollowed you out."_

 _Breaking down in tears, Casey fell into a chair across from Liz. Her resolve had cracked it was the only way she could gain justice for Alex and she'd failed her. "I am so sorry. I was just tried of not getting justice for her. I didn't protect her. I didn't protect her."_

 _"Casey, it was a bad deal. He was a cop." Liz said flatly._

 _"No, Alex!" Casey cried._

 _"Alex? What are you talking about?"_

 _"She came to me that night to apologize. I pushed her away. I should have realized, I should have protected her." The redhead sobbed._

 _Liz Donnelly watched the shell of Casey break apart and show a shred of the woman she once knew. "You have been using Sex Crimes to get justice." She said softly. Casey nodded in agreement. "Oh Casey, I am sorry. I never realized." She said crossing around the desk to offer support._

 _"Get away from me!" Casey snapped. "You took her from me. I know you encouraged her to leave me. Then she married that nightmare. She died because of him!"_

 _"Casey, the drug cartel killed Alex not Nicholas. But you are right, I did encourage her to marry Nicholas. I am sorry Casey. Everything probably would have been completely different had she been with you. She would have been happy, loved and safe. Is this why you pushed everyone away?" Liz sympathized._

 _"Don't please, don't try to be my friend now. I don't know what to do..." Casey cried humiliated, defeated into her hands._

 _"Casey, I know what you could do." Liz said softly rubbing circles against the woman's back._

 _"What?"_

 _"I have a friend who is the headmaster at a private high school down in North Carolina. She has some openings for teaching positions, one of which is an English teacher. Didn't you major in English?"_

 _"Yeah," Casey said confused as to why Liz would want to help her now._

 _"I'd put in a good word for you if you'd like?" Liz offered with a smile._

 _"Why would you help me? Especially after helping to end my career?"_

 _Liz smiled, "We all make bad choices Casey. Mine worst one, sent my daughter down a dark path which led to her end. Yours cost you your job. This is my way of fixing as much of mine as I can, to make things right in Alex's eyes. Keeping you safe and helping you to find happiness again. She would want that. If you want to fix yours, then go to North Carolina Casey, go and let go of this guilt. Find the old Casey again. Alex would want the old Casey." She watched her words fall over the redhead. She watched how Casey seemed to lighten._

 _"Okay." Was all Casey said._

Within the month, Casey had moved to North Carolina. To a small town outside of Asheville, teaching English to freshmen and seniors at a private high school. She'd bought a house on a corner lot with lots of trees and bought a dog. Life seemed worth living again.

She went for runs with her chocolate lab, and had lunch on the weekends with her fellow teachers that she'd befriended. She coached softball and supported the football team. She loved fixing up her home, and finally found good reasons to be happy again.

She also rediscovered her love of reading, and loved challenging her students to think beyond the text and feel what the author was really saying. She loved to make them think, and loved to give them a reason to love reading. Her life finally had a good purpose other than processing guilt.

Today, was usually the only day the guilt got to her, and that was simply because it was the reminder as to why she and Alex were not together. Why she woke up alone and didn't have a family. Why she ached for a love she once knew. It was because on this day eleven years ago the love of her life was murdered.

Watching the sun break through the blinds over her bed and wash away the nights dancing shadows, she was reminded that she needed to feed her four legged friend. "Good morning, Jake-y boy." Casey said to her over eager lab who had placed his head on the side of the bed.

Climbing out of bed, she started her usual routine of walking the dog and feeding him breakfast while making her coffee. Drinking coffee and eating a yogurt while getting dressed for work, she chose her favorite Rocket Dog boots, jeans, a graphic tee and her utility jacket. Walking the dog once more, she put him up and climbed into her 4-door black Wrangler and headed to work.

It was a chilly morning for the beginning of October. The sky was a crisp blue and the leaves were starting to change colors. If it hadn't been for the ache in her heart today it would be the perfect morning.

Reaching the school, she quickly dropped off her belongings and checked out her roster update that sat on her desk. She was getting a new student in her Freshman English class today, Kale Clark. She'd always loved the name Kale. Alex had once humored her and said they could name their first son Kale. It made her heart hurt a little more.

Grabbing her coffee tumbler she headed out to the front courtyard to talk to her best friend Andrea while the students arrived. Andrea taught History and Andrea's girlfriend, Michonne taught French. Michonne always handled student parking in the morning, Andrea and Casey supervised the courtyard.

Spotting her friend, she headed over. "Mornin' Blondie!" Casey called out.

"Mornin' Red!" Andrea called back. Andrea and Casey had many inside jokes from the year they met.

They both had started teaching at the school the same year and ventured out on many weekend excursions. One led them to the 'Land of the Hillbillies,' after Michonne started the next year they decide to take her to the same area so she could understand their joke. Michonne referred to it as a seen from the movie, 'Wrong Turn.' They were forever banned from returning.

"So, what's the scoop of the morning?" Casey asked her friend.

"New kid on the block has a hottie for a mom." Andrea said with a wicked grin.

Elbowing her friend, Casey smirked, "You better not let Michonne hear you talk about another woman like that, you know how she gets."

"I was thinking for you Case. When was the last time you got laid?"

"Their are children around! Plus, I am fine thank you. I have had company, just no commitments. I prefer it that way."

Rolling her sea green eyes, Andrea muttered, "Yeah, yeah." The two continued with light small talk till the bell rang signaling the students to head to class.

By the time, her freshman English class arrived Casey had forgotten about the new student till he approached her desk. "Ms. Novak," the boy asked.

"Yes, Kale is it!" Casey said looking up to meet strikingly familiar blue eyes.

"Yeah," Kale replied. His brown hair was short and he was almost as tall as Casey, but his blue eyes seemed so much like ones she knew all to well.

Shaking her head clear, she gave the boy his seat assignment and told him what chapter to open to in Orwell's 'Animal Farm.' Standing before her class she explained the reading from the night before and how the animals reflected the different parties from the Russian Revolution, expanding on the brilliance of Orwell's dystopian political satire.

Before she realized it, her last class of the day had arrived. Standing before her senior literature class she found herself on a tirade of what an amazing author Ernest Hemingway was, the class was reading 'The Sun Also Rises,' her favorite and namesake of her dog, Jake, who was named after the protagonist Jake Barnes. She was expounding upon how Hemingway had a way of writing his stories they could be personal and deep, or light like the 'Old Man in the Sea.'

"Ms. Novak," one of her students spoke up.

"Yes, Annabel," Casey called on the Hispanic girl.

"I was taught that the fish and the man stood for the battle of good and evil." Annabel stated.

"Funny thing about that, many people like to overthink something's, but Hemingway in an interview once was asked what was the deeper meaning of the story. Do you know what he said?" Casey asked as she caught sight of a woman walking past her classroom window.

As if suddenly frozen to the spot before her desk, she watched the woman walk by. Her brown hair was so different, but she looked so much like her Lexie. How could that be?

"Ms. Novak, what did he say?" Another student called out snapping her from her thoughts.

Shaking her head clear, Casey said, "It was just a story about a damn fish. That's what he said."

Finishing out her class, Casey couldn't shake the heaviness her heart felt. Ever since seeing the Alex look alike, she couldn't stop thinking about her lost love. She wanted to see the woman again, just to have that moment one last time. It was a crazy thought, but she couldn't shake it.

As she drove up her street, she noticed Kale out in front of a rental house at the end of her road. He was sitting on the steps of the house reading. She smiled, thinking to herself, 'I got one to read!'

As she pulled up to her house and headed inside, she found herself thinking she could go down and meet the mother. It would allow her to see her again. Walking the dog, she realized she couldn't go empty handed.

Heading inside, she dumped some store bought cookies on a plate and wrapped cellophane over them. Looking down at Jake, she mumbled, "Don't judge me, you never eaten my cooking. They'd thank me for saving them from food poisoning."

Opening the door, she headed out by herself. Walking down the street, she came upon the little bungalow looking house. Knocking lightly she waited.

Kale came to the door, confusion on his face as he opened the door, "Ms. Novak, why are you here?"

"Hey Kale, I live at the end of the street on the corner. I was just bringing you and your parents some cookies to say welcome to the neighborhood." Casey said in a cheerful voice.

"Oh okay," Kale said taking the cookies, "I'll get my mom. Mom! A neighbors here!" The boy yelled before heading into the back hallway.

"Kale! That is not how you treat neighbors!" An all too familiar voice called out from the direction of the kitchen.

Casey suddenly felt frozen in time. Her heart pounded in her chest. She felt dizzy. It couldn't be, it couldn't be Alexandra. It couldn't be. She was hallucinating. Lexie was dead.

"Hi," came the familiar voice, "I'm..."

"Lexie," Casey breathed out as she locked eyes with Alexandra's. "Lexie, is it really you."

"Casey," Alex whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This was actually a hard chapter to write, so I hope it comes across right. Thank you for the reviews and support!**

* * *

Alex didn't hesitate, she grabbed Casey's arm and yanked her inside the house. Quickly closing and locking the door, she began in a panic to close all the shutters downstairs. Casey could only stand and watch the panic wash over the brunette.

Casey was lost watching Alex mutter a string of things to herself that didn't make much sense, before running upstairs. Following her, she walked to the woman's room to find her emptying drawers onto her bed, and pulling a bag out of the closet.

Finally, Casey yelled, "Alexandra stop!"

Alex froze on command. Shaking she asked, "How, how did you find me? If you can find me he can to Casey. He can't find me." As she finished she fell to the floor in a shaking crying mess.

Running to her side, Casey pulled her into her arms. "Lexie, it was a fluke of luck. I moved here three years ago and I happen to be Kale's teacher. I love down the road. I just brought cookies to say hello. It was just chance, Lex." Casey didn't think it was necessary at this moment to mention she saw Alex at the school. She didn't want to set off panic again.

"Chance?"

"Yes, Lex, chance." Casey assured.

Alex nuzzled into Casey's side, taking comfort from the sound of her heartbeat. "You haven't called me Lexie in about sixteen years."

"You've been gone for awhile." The redhead laughed.

"Why are you teaching English?"

Casey had so many questions, but she thought she'd move at Alex's pace. To let her warm up to the whole situation and be comfortable before opening Pandora's Box. "I got censured and your mom helped me find a job teaching English here. She said I needed to find myself again, for you. Does she know?"

Alex pushed back and stood, tossing the bag into the closet, "She set this up." Casey could tell the brunette was frustrated.

"Lex, what are you talking about?" She watched as the brunette sat down on the edge of the bed hanging her head.

"I ran away Casey. Nicholas use to hurt me," taking a deep breath she continued, "He was abusive. My mother and I devised a plan to get Kale and I away from him. The car bomb was planned and staged. Mom had a friend from the Feds help. We left that night and assumed new identities. I have moved every couple of years to insure he couldn't find me. They were all pre-plotted out by my mom and her friend in the Feds. I haven't had any contact with anyone for fear of Nicholas finding out and coming after me. He'd kill me for this Casey."

"Oh my god, Lexie I am so sorry." Casey said sitting and holding her ex-girlfriends hand.

"I deserved it all Casey. I deserved it for turning my back on you like I did, I should never have done that or hurt you like that." Alex whispered.

"What all happened Lex?"

"I graduated Casey. I moved back home and started working at the DA's office. I was lonely, you were taking your hardest year of Law School full steam and basically ignoring me. I understood why, but it didn't keep it from hurting. Nicholas and I bumped into each other one day while leaving court and he offered to take me to lunch. It was nice to have someone my age to talk to again. He asked me out to dinner, and I went. I was being stupid Casey, but I was so hurt by you not being around and I should have talked to you. Instead, I fell for his act. Eventually, I started to have feelings for him, which got very confusing because I still loved you. Although, our phone calls had dropped down to ten minutes a day and you were canceling trips down to study or pushing me off when I tried to come visit you. Then there was Nicholas, who'd call me in the mornings while I got ready to work just to make me laugh, and bring me lunch, and take me out. He was so charming and sold me this story about everything I wanted."

She paused to wipe her tears that seemed to be steadily falling now. Composing herself, she continued, "I talked to my mom about it all, and she pointed out that Nicholas could give me things you couldn't, he was present, and he could give me children, and it looked better publicly. I was so naive. I agreed, and decide to drive up to Cambridge and have a proper talk with you. On the drive up I changed my mind, I was going to tell you to get in the car and go to the Cape with me. I'd help you study and we could have a nice getaway. Then I arrived at your apartment, and you looked bummed out to see me and I snapped. I broke up with you before you had time to say anything, all I could think of in that moment was how happy Nicholas always was to see me. I drove home thinking I made the right decision, and when he proposed I thought I'd be happy forever, and I was until five weeks of marriage..."

Alex continued to tell Casey about her husband's violence, and how it escalated. How she'd cover bruises and how he'd promise to be better, but never would change. Then she told Casey about her baby, and how she miscarried, and how she and her mom devised a plan for Alex to get away. She knew charges would never stick, Nicholas was far to powerful for it, so it had to look like she died.

Casey's stomach clenched at the story. By the time the story ended, she felt like she might be sick. Pulling herself together for Alex, she finally spoke, "Lex, you didn't deserve any of that. I am so sorry I let you down. I only looked bummed when you arrived, because my car was packed. I was headed down to surprise you in New York City. I'd planned a long weekend for us, but then you broke up with me. I didn't know what to say. I am so sorry you endured all of that. I am so sorry."

"It seems like just a series of disasters." Alex laughed sarcastically. "So, my mom sent you here?"

"Yeah, she told me to get myself right for you. I was harboring so much guilt for not stopping you that night, that I dominated the legal world for a little while before torpedoing my legal career. I made a Brady Violation I was so desperate to win." Casey laughed.

"Oh my god, you were desperate." Alex laughed a little letting her guard down for a moment. Pulling herself together, she continued, "I am sorry you felt guilty. I wish I could go back and change so much."

Squeezing her ex's hand, Casey soothed, "I am really happy in my life now, please don't feel too badly. So, Nicky is Kale? And you are?"

Shaking her head a bit, the brunette replied, "Nicky, became Kale Clark, and I became Alexis Clark, Lexie for short. Nicholas never knew me as Lexie so he wouldn't think to look for one, and he never knew about the name Kale."

"My nickname for you and the name we were going to name our first son." Casey smiled.

"Yes. After we left NYC we held up in a safe house for about a month. I explained to Nicky we were going away to be safe and we were going to have new names. Within two weeks he was answering to Kale, and I learned my new job. He thinks I work with computers, and we have to move every so many years to find new demand areas. Really, I live off my trust and freelance write for fun. It helps pay bills and keep us comfortable. My mom removed the money from the trust and set it up in another one hidden behind a dummy fund to keep it hidden from Nicholas. It's provided us with everything we need." Alex said with her head on Casey's shoulder, "It's nice to have someone to tell all this too."

"Well, I live right down the road, so come down time to talk and I will happily come by daily if you want. Do you still like to run in the mornings? I go for runs with my dog, we could run together."

"I've been to scared to run, I haven't gone out in years." Alex admitted.

"You are safe Alex. Nicholas stayed away from the DA's office after you left, and I am sure your mom wouldn't have sent me here if she was worried. What have you done for fun?" Casey inquired.

"Nothing, Case. I just make sure Kale is well cared for and safe. By the way, Casey he doesn't remember anything from New York, so we have to keep quiet. I will tell him you are an old friend, but that's it."

Casey nodded, "Okay Lex, but I am going to help you live a little starting by a run with me in the morning!"

"Oh boy," Alex said rolling her eyes, "You are going to kill."

"No, I am going to help you live a little. Let me help you fold these clothes, and then why don't you and Kale come over for dinner?"

Smiling at her ex, Alex nodded, "Okay, Casey."

Alex thought she'd never see any of her friends or family ever again. Finding Casey was a blessing. Maybe life could slow down a bit. Maybe she could live and be safe.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! Sorry, for all the typos in my last chapter, my phone has a mind of its own! Also, sorry for the late update. School work was crazy and then I got super sick...yay, not! Anyway, here is this one for you.**

* * *

 _Alex stood in front of the kitchen sink shaking as her husband unleashed his fury upon her for running away. He'd found her. Her told her he would make her pay._

 _Grabbing the carving and vegetable knives from the cutting board, he came at her fast. She couldn't move, she was frozen in fear. Bowing her head and squeezing her eyes shut in terror, she felt the cold metal of the carving knife press against her neck. She knew the other knife was near, she could sense his hand near her eyes._

 _Feeling his warm breath against her cheek, she heard his smirk. "Open your eyes, Alexandra," he said in a sing song voice._

 _"No," she whimpered._

 _"I said open your fucking eyes!" He screamed as he shook in fury before her._

 _"No," she cried shaking. The last thing she felt was the cool blade..._

Alex shot up in bed, whispering, "It was just a dream," over and over like a mantra as she pulled her legs to her chest. Rocking back in forth in the dark room, she tried to focus on happy thoughts. It always helped the nightmares fade away.

Laying back in bed in the fetal position, she thought back to happier times. She thought back to her last night in Cambridge with Casey before she moved back to New York to take her job at the Manhattan DA's office. They were snuggled up in bed under the covers, and Casey was making her laugh.

 _"So, what are you going to do without me now?" Alex asked as she gazed deeply into her girlfriends emerald eyes._

 _"Hmm," Casey started tapping her chin in thought, "Cry some, eat lots of pizza and ice cream and Cheetos just because you won't be here to stop me, and oh yeah, buy a new vibrator!"_

 _"Casey!" Alex exclaimed pushing the redhead, "I am serious."_

 _"So was I," Casey replied looking hurt._

 _"I hope you pick a better court face, or Professor Keating will eat you for lunch." Alex mused._

 _Wiggling her eyebrows, Casey joked in a husky voice, "Well, I wouldn't need the vibrator then would I?"_

 _Alex burst out laughing causing Casey to fall into hysterics as well. The redhead always had a way of being so goofy and it always caused Alex to laugh so deep and hard. It felt refreshing, like coming up for air, she could be so free with Casey. There was never any judgement, just safety and happiness and love._

 _As they collected themselves, Casey pushed up on a elbow and looked deep into Alex's steely blue eyes, "To be honest Lex, I am going to be miserable without you. I will probably throw myself deep into books and school just so I don't fall apart missing you. I love you Lexie. I never want to be without you and this next year is going to be hell without you."_

 _"I love you, Casey." Alex whispered..._

Alex lay on her back watching the sunlight begin to turn the dark room to a milky gray. She never really processed just what leaving Casey did to the redhead, she'd just deeply regretted the decision in the aftermath. She knew she loved Casey when she broke up with her, but she was hurt by her and she also thought she loved Nicholas, only he destroyed that love with his violence. All that was left remaining was her love for Casey, but Alex felt like she could never fix the situation.

At one point shortly before her first anniversary, she thought she'd divorce Nicholas, but he suddenly changed back to the man she'd fallen in love with and she stayed. Then she'd gotten pregnant unexpectedly and life seemed to be falling into place. It wasn't until she was four months pregnant that the violence returned, his anger more fierce then ever.

He'd spend nights screaming at her until she cried hysterically begging him to stop to just leave her be. If she said the wrong thing and upset him he'd disappear never telling her where he went. She wanted to leave, but she felt like she couldn't, she felt trapped. Every time she tried to tell a friend or her mother they'd act like she was being over dramatic. The abuse remained verbal for years along with him breaking things in his anger. Alex became accustom to it, so much so that when he hit her the first time she just nodded as if she knew it would come eventually.

When the bruises started she pulled away from everyone, with the exception of her mom and her best friend Kim. It took Kim finding the bruises on her back in a dressing room one day when Kale was almost three for her to finally believe Alex, she immediately wanted to go to Olivia or Liz, but Alex had begged her not to. She explained that she'd never be able to win and he'd only punish her more, Kim cried and begged for her to get away, that's when Alex told her she was pregnant again.

Kim was shocked at the news, she couldn't understand why Alex would want to have another baby with a monster. Alex admitted as screwed up as it sounded, that if she was finally able to divorce him she'd never getaway with sole custody so at least this way her son would have someone else to go with him, they could watch out for each other. She remembered crying from the admission in Kim's arms for about an hour in the Neiman Marcus dressing room. The sales people were nice enough to not say a word as they left. Two weeks later Nicholas beat her to the point she miscarried, and within the year she was gone.

As she stood to get dressed in her running pants and top, she realized it was the fact she was in survival mode for all those years that she didn't wonder about how leaving Casey had affected her. All those years at the darkest moments, when focusing on Kale wasn't enough to survive she would imagine happy times with Casey. She always went to the memory of the redhead to find strength to keep on living to keep on fighting to keep on trying for Kale.

Lacing up her sneakers she smiled, in a way Casey had kept her alive and now she had the redhead back in her life and as much as she wanted to tell her all that she couldn't. She couldn't because she didn't know what had happened to Casey after the breakup. She needed to find out first.

Jogging down the street to Casey's house, she thought back to dinner the night before...Casey cooked salmon for them while Kale and Alex played with Casey's lab. They'd eaten dinner like a family with Casey asking Kale about his interests and agreeing to help him get involved in sports. For a moment, it looked like the life she and Casey had once dreamed of having, the life Alex had taken away from them.

Reaching the house, she found Casey stretching on the porch with Jake lying in wait. "Hey, sleepy head? You ready for me to kick your ass this morning?" Casey smirked.

"Ugh, go easy on me Case. I am old and out of shape these days." Alex groaned.

Laughing Casey jumped off the porch quickly followed by Jake, "Okay, granny I promise."

The two women and dog jogged along the roads of their neighborhood for about three miles before reaching a greenway. Once there they began to walk along a path while Casey tossed a tennis ball for the ever eager retriever. "So," Casey began, "Are you going to tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"What happened with you after we broke up?" Alex blurted without hesitation.

"Getting deep I see...well, I about damn near failed law school. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I started not going to class. One day about a month later, there was a knock at the door and it was Professor Keating. She told me to get my head out of my ass and get into class.

I told her I didn't know if I wanted to be a prosecutor anymore, and it was the whole reason I'd gotten into law. I was lost. I'd built my world around you and then you were gone and I felt like I had nothing left suddenly. Then she did the unexpected, she gave me a job. She told me to finish out the year and graduate with honors and she would have a job waiting for me in her firm." Casey smiled at the memory as she again picked up the ball and tossed it far for Jake.

"What did you do? Obviously you graduated, but did you work for Annalise?" Alex queried.

"I laughed, I laughed for the first time since you'd left me standing at my door. I laughed loud and hard. Then I composed myself and asked her why she'd want to give me a job, especially since I hadn't been to class in a month and I wanted to be a prosecutor. She said and I quote, 'You are the brightest student I have seen in years and I know what a broken heart can do to you, furthermore Novak, if you want to be a star prosecutor your best advantage is knowing the defense on a personal level. It doesn't get much more personal than being the defense. I promise you come work for me for a few years and the want to go be a prosecutor and you will never lose.' So, that's what I did, and she was right, I almost never lost." Casey again said with a smile, but this one was different than the first it seemed more like a smile for all the could have beens that she'd missed out on in life.

"I'm sorry Casey." Alex whispered as they sat on a bench near a creek that the lab was now rolling in.

Looking into Alex's eyes Casey whispered, "You don't have to be Lex, I learned how to live again after you, even if I never stopped loving you."

Alex processed the redheads words. So much lie within them, so much Alex wanted to ask about, so much she wanted to know, like was Casey still in love with her. She opened her mouth to ask, but closed it again only to open once more to say, "You know I use to laugh so hard with you. We were so happy, I was never I happy when we were together. It was like I couldn't be unhappy when we were together...I felt so alive when I was with you."

Casey took Alex's hand in hers, "Lexie, how do you feel now?"

Scoffing a bit, Alex answered, "Like a shell of the person I use to be."

"What do you do for fun?"

"Nothing, Case. I have just been in survival mode for the last eleven years. I have always been to scared to just be still and enjoy, honestly since you showed up at my door and stopped my breakdown has been the calmest and most normal I have felt in years." Alex admitted.

Putting her arm around Alex's shoulder, Casey sat back, "Well then, I know what we need to do first and foremost."

"What's that?"

Smiling Casey said, "We need to get you to relax and be still, and to find the old Lexie I use to know. She's in there, she just needs to know it's safe to come out again."

Alex gave Casey a crooked smile and said, "Oh? And how do you plan to do that?"

"By making you do things you use to enjoy Lex," Casey said looking around till her eyes landed on the creek, "Starting with finding salamanders. First to find one buys lunch!" As Casey finished her statement she ran straight into the creek.

All Alex could do was laugh as she watched the redhead jump into the creek with the soaked lab. Standing she followed with a smile on her face and her heart feeling a little lighter. That was the first real laugh she'd laughed in years...

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 **A/N: It's going to be a crazy week, so bear with me. I promise to update at latest by the weekend, hopefully much sooner though!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am so sorry this story has been so neglected! I am really working on it! Life has thrown one to many wrenches into the mix, and between work and school time is forever lacking! Anyway, we just got more help at work so hopefully updates won't be so lacking anymore! And hopefully this chapter will make up for any hard feelings! ;)**

* * *

 **One month later...**

Kale watched his mother from across the yard. She was standing next to her friend Casey, who was grilling the three of them steaks for dinner, laughing hard. It was a sight he wasn't use to seeing. It was unusual for his mother to ever be laid back, nonetheless relaxed enough to ever laugh so hard.

It was an amazing thing, her laugh that is, to see her laugh to hear how natural it sounded. She'd laughed with him in private moments at home, but he'd never seen or heard her like this. It was the carefree way she seemed at ease with the redhead, the way Casey could give his mother a goofy look and she'd throw back her head and laugh this deep joyous laugh. It made him happy to see and hear her like this...

As he picked up the ball to throw for the goofy Labrador, he couldn't help but notice the way his mother looked at the other woman. It was a look that said they were more than old friends. He may only be a teenager, but he could tell that his mother was in love with her friend.

The funny part was her friend just happened to also be his English teacher, which he was not excited about, but he was happy to see his mother happy for once. No matter the situation, he would always choose for his mother to be happy. He felt she deserved it for once.

"Kale! Dinner's almost ready! Go wash up!" His mother yelled across the yard.

Kale rolled his eyes at his mother's comment to wash up. She still had a way of treating him like he was five. Maybe she'd eventually see him as a teenager.

"Hey kiddo, do you like sushi? I bought some earlier and will happily share." Casey said as he neared the back porch of her house.

"Yeah, I do." He replied.

"It's on the kitchen island, help yourself." The redhead said with a warm smile.

Walking into Casey's house, Kale smiled looking over her pictures. She had a very nice home. He liked it way better than where he and his mother were living down the street. Casey lived off a small lake, and her house was surrounded by trees. She had a big back porch and a front porch, and a big open living space and kitchen. He hadn't explored upstairs, but was told that there were two bedrooms up there and sitting space. Casey's room was downstairs. Kale had asked her why she had such a large house since it was just her. She'd smiled and said her brother and his wife came to visit a lot and they just had a baby.

As he looked through the photos on her wall, he noticed the man who must be her brother. He was tall like Casey and clearly built, he had Casey's red hair and big goofy smile. However, it was the woman in the picture that caught Kale's attention the most...she looked so familiar...like...

"Kale, have you washed up?" Alex asked interrupting his train of thought.

"Geez, Mom!" Kale groaned ignoring her as he bent to focus on the dog.

Casey laughed following Alex inside. "Layoff the boy, Lex. Can't you see he is practically a grown man?" She asked as she crossed to the sink.

"See Mom! Casey has faith in me!" Kale exclaimed feeling a bit empowered.

"I mean after all he's a smart kid Lexie, so I am sure he knows well enough that when playing with a dog outside it is always a good idea to wash up before eating or you run the risk of getting worms." Casey smirked as she dried her own hands and ate some sushi.

Without another word, Kale stood and marched to the sink and began vigorously washing his hands as if preparing for surgery. Both Alex and Casey burst out in laughter at this sight. Turning quite red, Kale turned to face the two women.

"Are you two messing with me?" He demanded.

Collecting herself, Alex chuckled, "It got you to wash up didn't it?"

At her words the teen quickly grabbed the sinks spray nozzle and sprayed his mother and Casey. The kitchen erupted into hysterical laughter with Casey throwing the sushi at him in defense and Alex climbing behind the kitchen island for shelter. Despite the time it took to clean up, Casey couldn't remember a better evening in life. She truly felt as if Alex and Kale were family.

* * *

Standing on the porch of her rental house later that evening, Alex couldn't help but be thankful that Casey had walked them home. Kale was already upstairs and the two women were both trying desperately to not say goodnight. Alex didn't want Casey to leave, but she didn't think it was appropriate to ask her to stay either just yet.

"Lexie, it's getting late, I need to head on home...but before I go I wanted to ask you..." Casey paused smiling.

"Yes, Case?"

"Want to get dinner tomorrow night with two of my friends? It's Andrea and Michonne to be exact." The redhead clarified.

"Oh," Alex replied not expecting that to be the question, "yeah, sure."

"What's wrong?" Casey asked.

"Nothing, I'd love to get dinner and formally meet your friends. I just didn't expect that to be your question."

"Oh," Casey smiled, "were you expecting this?" Casey asked before slowing guiding her lips to Alex's.

The kiss was firm and full of want and desire. Casey couldn't help but feel her heart jump at the feeling of Alex's lips against hers. She felt so renewed. It was only made better by Alex tangling a hand in Casey's hair and wrapping an arm behind her back and pulling her closer. Neither woman wanted the kiss to end, but finally, like all kisses it did.

The seconds directly after seemed to last for minutes as blue eyes met green and unspoken words were exchanged. Alex was the first to break the silence, "I love you, Casey, I always have and always will. I am so sorry for hurting you all those years ago. I..."

She was quickly cut off by Casey's lips crashing back into hers. This kiss seemed a bit more desperate as a need to have the other closer pounded through their veins. Before either was fully aware of their actions, they found themselves quickly and quietly sneaking into the house and up the stairs to Alex's room.

Locking the door, Alex found herself pressed against the edge of the bed at lighting speed. Her head was swimming as Casey kissed down her jawline as she lifted her shirt up and over her head only pulling away long enough to free the shirt. Quickly pressing her lips back to Alex's neck she lightly nipped at the pale skin she'd missed so much.

Pushing Alex back onto the bed, Casey quickly finished removing the rest of their clothes before climbing back up the length of her lovers body and claiming her lips in a sensual kiss. The feeling of Alex's naked body pressed against hers was one she'd missed so many nights. Kissing her way down the now brunette's body, Casey couldn't help but relish every second. Just over a month ago she never thought this moment possible and yet now here she was with the woman she loved more than anything else in the world. Feeling Alex pull her back up, Casey looked into her lovers deep blue eyes.

"Casey," Alex started breathlessly, before kissing the redhead softly. Breaking the kiss, Alex ran her fingertips down Casey's cheek and whispered, "I love you Casey, I always have and always will. My heart belongs to you."

"And mine is yours," Casey choked, "I love you too, Alexandra." The couple kissed again as their hands slowly wandered between them, each entering the other slowly until fingers found those once familiar spots and began to move against them as they kissed. Soon both women were gasping for air against one another as they both crashed over the edge together.

Laying back against the cool sheets gasping for air, Casey watched as Alex climbed back on top of her. Smirking at the brunette, she gasped as Alex kissed her way down her body, taking time to suck her nipples and lazily taking her time to reach her throbbing clit. The feeling of Alex's warm and talented tongue running through her soaked center caused her to moan loudly which quickly caused Alex to stop.

"Quiet Casey," Alex reminded.

Smirking at the brunette again, Casey grabbed a pillow and put it over her head jokingly. That was until Alex sucked the redheads clit into her mouth. Pulling the pillow tight against her mouth, Casey couldn't help but cry out at the amazing ways Alex began to suck and flick her tongue. Feeling her second orgasm building quickly, Casey pulled Alex closer in with one hand while the other still clutched the pillow tight. She came hard panting Alex's name into the pillow.

Alex fell back onto the bed with a smirk. Laughing quietly at Casey's, panting form. "You learned some new tricks." Casey laughed.

"Yep, I may have." Alex smiled.

"Where is your toy?" Casey asked without hesitation.

"In the top drawer of the chest of drawers."

Without waiting, Casey climbed from the bed and opened the drawer pulling Alex's dildo out before rejoining her lover. Giving Alex a devilish grin, she slowly ran her fingertips through Alex's soaked center. "Fuck, you are wet," she said before taking her fingers in her mouth and moaning quietly at the taste. "And you taste amazing," she finished causing Alex to gasp as she dropped between her legs and began to run her tongue in circles against Alex's clit.

"Fuck Casey," Alex whispered in a gasp at the sensations racing through her. Casey continued her ministrations only long enough to bring the brunette to the edge before pulling back causing Alex whine at the loss. "Casey please," Alex cried.

"Please what Lexie?" Casey teased.

Glaring at the redhead, she begged, "Please make me come." With that Casey slid the toy in deep making sure to hit that spot that was guaranteed to make Alex come quickly as her tongue flicked fast against the brunette's clit. It didn't take long for Alex to come hard crying out into the same pillow Casey had used just a little while before to silence herself.

Rolling onto her back, Casey didn't give Alex long to recover before she positioned the toy over her swollen clit and had Alex climb on. This use to be one of their favorite positions when making love and it was surreal to be in this moment again. Watching Alex slide onto the toy easily with a breathy gasp, Casey whispered, "You are so beautiful Alexandra..."

Alex quickly set a pace rolling her hips perfectly, causing the toy to hit just right in her and against Casey, with Casey's knuckles rubbing against her clit perfectly. Her orgasm built quickly and she could tell from the way Casey was breathing and her skin was flushing that she wasn't far behind. Grabbing onto Casey's shoulders for better leverage, Alex thrust against the toy a little harder causing her orgasm to explode through her. Her cries were not silent and Casey quickly crashed her mouth against the brunettes to silence her, as her own orgasm broke through her.

The two women lay spent in each other's arms. Laughing silently at their impromptu love making. "I've missed you Casey," Alex whispered.

"I've missed you too, Lex. I don't ever want to be apart from you like that again." Casey confessed. She knew she'd have to sneak home in a little bit and that knowledge alone broke her heart, but she was determined to not lose Alex like she had so many years before ever again. She was in love with the brunette and was determined to fight for her everyday for the rest of their lives.

Climbing from the bed, Alex opened a drawer and pulled out some pjs tossing them haphazardly to Casey. "Stay tonight Case please," she began as she pulled on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top, "I am going to lock up for the night."

Watching her lover leave the room, Casey put the pjs on and put away the toy. As Alex came back with two water bottles and climbed back into Casey's arms, it was as if they'd never been apart. As if this was how life was always suppose to be, both confessing their love for one another as sleep overcame them, sleeping in their home, with their family. The only problem was that wasn't truly their story, but instead it was the making of it.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: The much awaited update! Sorry it took me so long. This story hits a little close to home and sometimes it's nice to step back from it. I promise to try and have it done before Christmas...the sequel to Out of the Woods is dying to be written!**

* * *

"So everyone, I know Tennessee Williams probably isn't on the top of your list for reading material over Thanksgiving break..." Casey began only to be cut off by Ian Thompson, one of her over eager students.

"More like we weren't planning to read at all!" Ian yelled out, only to be joined with a few hoots and hollers of support.

"Thank you Mr. Thompson for your input, but unless you'd like to earn you and your classmates two reading assignments it would be in your best interest to quiet down." Casey said coolly standing over the younger boys desk. She rarely pulled out her inner prosecutor tone on her students unless she was over a certain behavior and disrupting class fell into that category.

Walking back towards the front of the classroom, she smiled knowing that she'd regained the classes attention. "Now, as I was saying, I would like you all to read Tennessee Williams Cat on the Hot Tin Roof over break. I have assigned it to you this way, because as you read it I'd like you to look at your own family dynamic. When you return from break, we will spend two days discussing your feelings about the play and your thoughts of family, then I will assign a paper. So, it's in your best interest to read it before returning." As Casey finished her statement she locked eyes with Ian, as she use to do with weak jury members. She didn't doubt that he would read the assignment.

As the bell rung out, Casey dismissed the class and wished them all a happy and safe break. She loved teaching at this school and could never imagine returning to life in the courtroom. In a way, she felt as if she did more to protect society through a classroom than a courtroom.

As the class filed out of the room, Casey noticed Kale lagging behind his peers. "Hey kiddo, want a ride home?" Casey offered since she was headed to his house to start cooking with Alex.

"I, I need to talk to you, Casey," the teenager started.

Seeing the seriousness in his eyes, Casey had him follow her into her office. Motioning for the boy to sit on the couch, she offered, "I am going to make some coffee, would you like something?"

"No, I am good. Thank you though." Kale replied as he noticed the new pictures on Casey's desk. There was a picture of Casey and his mom on the Ferris wheel at the fall festival two weeks earlier, and a picture of the three of them at a paint your own pottery studio from the last weekend. He couldn't help but smile noticing how unusually happy his mother looked in those pictures. He'd never seen her as happy as she had been since they moved here and she found Casey.

Noticing the Kale staring at the pictures as she sat in the arm chair across from him, Casey said, "If you'd rather me not have those pictures up I can take them down."

"No, they are fine." Kale replied breaking away from his thoughts.

"Okay," Casey said blowing on her hot cup of coffee. "What's up?"

"My mom has nightmares..." Kale said matter-of-factly.

Casey paused at the information. She'd spent the night with Alex every night for just over a month and not once had the blonde had a nightmare. However, she wasn't sure how to tell Kale this information because she and Alex had always awoken early enough for her to sneak out without being caught by the boy. So, instead of saying anything she nodded at him to tell him to continue.

"My mother has had nightmares every night since I was four. She doesn't know I know, but I have always woken up in the early hours of the morning to her screams and crying." Kale admitted for the first time ever.

Casey felt her heart break at the confession. She knew Nicholas had abused Alex, but hearing about the nightmares and how Kale felt he couldn't tell his mother was awful. Shaking her head she replied in a quiet voice, "I am so sorry, Kale."

"She doesn't have them anymore," Kale suddenly said locking eyes with Casey.

Casey suddenly became aware of what this talk was about and felt her cheeks start to blush. "What do you mean?" She asked in a flat tone she use to reserve for court.

"She hasn't had a single nightmare in a little over a month. The first night scared me. I thought something had happened to her. I crept into her room to check on her." He said not breaking eye contact.

That was it. Kale knew and Casey knew he knew. There was no reason to lie to the boy. In an understanding tone she said, "And you found me in bed with your mother."

"Yes."

"Are you mad?" Casey asked.

"She doesn't have nightmares anymore." He said not quite answering the question, before continuing, "She doesn't have nightmares, Casey, and she's happy. I've never actually seen her happy before."

"Are you mad, Kale?" Casey asked again in a sympathetic tone.

"No, Casey, I am not. But I have a question for you, because I think you are the only one that will tell me the truth." Kale asked looking at her firmly.

Casey had dealt with a lot in her former career as a prosecutor, some of the most evil people she could imagine, but none of them ever made her as nervous as the question Kale might ask. Again she nodded for him to continue.

"Is Nicholas as evil as I remember him being?" Kale asked flatly.

Casey's eyes went wide, as her heart sped up in her chest. "W-what?" She stumbled over her words.

"I knew you looked familiar when I first saw you. I, I just couldn't place you. Then when we were at your house one night I saw a pictures in your house of my Aunt Kim. I haven't seen her since mom took us away from my dad. He use to hit her, and she would scream, 'Nicholas stop,' over and over. I remember being scared of him, and one night we went away and I never saw him again. Mom started calling us different names. I knew it upset her, because I could hear her cry at night so I never mentioned it again." He stopped to compose himself. Talking about it was clearly upsetting and Casey could tell he was trying to not cry.

Taking a shaky breath, he continued, "I didn't want to ask her and risk upsetting her again, so I looked you up online. You use to be a famous prosecutor in New York City. You worked for the Manhattan District Attorney's office, prosecuting Sex Crimes. You took over for the late Alexandra Cabot. She and her son were killed in a car bombing. Although, they weren't really, because I am Nicky and my mother is Alexandra."

"Kale, you have to tell your mother this..." Casey began only to be cut off.

"No!" The boy yelled, catching himself and quickly apologizing, "I'm sorry, but no. It will upset her. You can't say anything. Promise me."

"I can't promise that Kale."

"Yes you can if you love her, if you care for us at all you will promise me." He spit out at her. He paused clearly blinking back tears. Finally, he began again, "If you tell her...she'll run. She will pack us up and run. She does it every time she panics or gets scared. She is happy with you Casey. I only told you because I want answers."

Casey processed the boys words. It frustrated her that he was so wise for his years and that he was most likely right about Alex running. She was in the middle of a rock and a hard place and hated being there. Taking a deep breath she put on her best assistant district attorney hat and said, "What are your questions?" She didn't tell him she wouldn't tell Alex, but she still fished for information.

"Was Nicholas really as evil as I remember him being?" Kale asked.

Shaking her head, Casey answered, "Yes, he is just that evil."

"Is my Mimi alive?"

"Yes, she sent me here a couple of years ago." As Casey answered she saw the boy smile, a warmth falling over him.

"My Aunt Kim?" He asked.

"She's my sister in law, she married my brother Owen four years ago. They just had a baby."

"How exactly did you know my mom? Just from work or what?" He asked tentatively.

"I met your mother in law school. We fell in love and dated until she met your father." Casey answered honestly.

"Do you love her? Are, are you in love with her?" He asked nervously.

Casey bit her lip. Talking to Alex's parents all those years ago was easier than this, "Yes, I have always been in love with your mother. She was my first and last love and always will be."

"Then stop sneaking out." He said flatly with a laugh at the end.

"Okay, I have a question for you." Casey said taking control of the conversation again.

Kale smiled and replied, "Shoot."

"I want to ask your mom to move in with me. I have plenty of room for the three of us, and Jakey-boy wouldn't be left alone so much. What would you say to that?" Casey asked.

"I'd say you should have asked her weeks ago. I'd be fine with that Casey. As long as Jake could sleep in my room." He replied with his natural goofy grin.

"Great kiddo. Let's go home then. I am sure your mom is wondering where we are!" The redhead said standing.

* * *

Later that evening, Alex stood in Casey's kitchen placing the last casserole in the refrigerator. Turning around she found Casey leaning against the kitchen counter looking at her intently. She knew the redhead was going to tell her something she wasn't going to like. Ripping off the bandage she asked, "What is it?"

"Kale knows Lex." Casey said bluntly.

"Knows what? About you and me?" Alex questioned unfazed as she moved to the kitchen sink for clean up.

"He knows everything, Alexandra." Casey replied using the former blondes full name to get her point across.

The panic that began to wash over the brunette as she set down the bowl was unmistakable, "How?" She spoke nervously.

"He evidently has always known to some degree, but he saw some pictures of Kim and Owen and it tipped him off to look me up online and it led him to some answers, but he wanted more so he came to me," Casey answered.

Alex's eyes went wide and her body stance went rigid. "What did you tell him?"

"I answered his questions is all. You don't have to be upset Alex, everything is fine, I just wanted to tell you."

"Tell me!" Alex yelled clearly panicking, "Tell me what? That you put me in the line of fire!" Alex ran her hands frantically through her hair, "Oh my god, I have to go, I have to leave. He will find me. I have to go now."

Alex was full on panicking, and Casey wasn't exactly sure what to do to stop it. Watching the brunette panic as she grabbed her phone and keys and began searching for her purse to leave, Casey yelled, "Alexandra, stop!"

Alex turned to her and yelled, "I can't stop Casey! I never should have! I stopped and got comfortable and Kale found out. What happens if he contacts Nicholas, what happens if Nicholas realizes I am with you, Casey? You know what happens he will kill me! That's what!" Alex cried with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Alex's shaky form was tearing Casey apart, but the redhead couldn't figure out what to say until Alex walked to the back door to the kitchen, "If you walk out that door we are through, Alexandra. I will still love you, but I will no longer show you that love. You will not just walk out on me again." Casey's words were firm and filled with emotion.

Closing the door she'd just opened, Alex turned to face Casey. She was a shaky crying mess and she couldn't really speak. The thoughts coursing through her brain were more than she could handle. She was terrified of Nicholas, but she was far more terrified of losing Casey again. The thought was paralyzing. Finally, she fell to her knees crying.

Running to Alex's side Casey wrapped her arms tight around the brunette. Alex gasped out, "I am so scared Casey. I am so scared."

"I know Lexie, but you don't have to be anymore. I can protect you and Kale. I can keep you safe." Casey soothed in a firm voice.

Alex curled into the redhead. Somehow, someway, she knew Casey would protect them if that's what it came to and she was okay with that. She could be brave for Casey and Kale, because she couldn't bear to lose the love of her life again.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I am going to be way more active in updating this story. I have another story ready to be written and I am dying to get it out to you all...which will be tonight!**

* * *

Casey ran her hands down the length of Alex's body, grasping her hips so she could roll her own up into the brunette. Alex let out a moan of pleasure as the toy hit that spot inside perfectly and ground herself into the redhead causing the strapless toy to hit both women just right causing them both to gasp. Both women were close to coming but desperately trying to draw it out as long as possible.

Rolling Alex over, Casey crashed there lips together in a heated kiss. Pulling back as she thrust into her girlfriend, she relished the sounds Alex was making. Hearing her was sending Casey closer and closer to the edge. Finally, she couldn't hold back and came, her erratic thrusts sending Alex crashing over the edge as well. The only thing to be heard was their heaving breathing.

"I am loving Christmas break," Alex finally gasped.

"Me too." Casey laughed, before kissing Alex once more and climbing from the bed to head to the shower.

Alex watched Casey from the bed toss the toy into the sink and start the shower. She loved everything about Casey and couldn't imagine her life without her. Life seemed so unfair at times, she would love to marry Casey and have a real life with extended family involved but thanks to Nicholas that would never happen. What was worse was how Casey had passed on spending the holiday with her brother and Kim to spend the holiday with her and Kale. She was grateful to be with Casey for Christmas, but it pained her to know that in a way she was coming between the redhead and her family.

Climbing from the bed herself, she walked to the bathroom to join Casey. Stepping into the steamy walk in, she watched as the redhead let the warm water cascade down her body before taking her in her arms and kissing her slowly. She loved kissing Casey. The feel of the redheads lips and tongue against hers, how Casey loved to wrap one arm around her back to pull her closer and tangle one hand in her hair.

When the need for air finally grew to great they broke apart, but continued to hold each other. Resting her head against Casey's, Alex said, "I want to marry you Casey."

Casey stepped back just enough to look Alex in the eyes. "Lexie, we can't you know that," she whispered.

"I do," Alex said not breaking eye contact, "And that's my fault Casey. But, that doesn't change how I feel and I want you to know that if I could I would marry you. No matter what Casey, I only want to spend my life with you." She pulled Casey back into her arms and cupped her face in one hand, "I am in love with you, Casey. I would rather die than be without you." As she finished she kissed Casey again softly.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Kale had finally gotten up and had taken Jake for a walk, while Casey and Alex were experimenting making pasta. They were having fun making a mess more than anything, but the house was full of laughter and love with Christmas decorations spread across their home. Hearing the front door bell ring, Alex quickly kissed Casey's cheek and headed for the door assuming Kale had forgotten his key again and was to lazy to walk around to the porch doors off the kitchen.

"Make him walk around Lex!" Casey called.

"I'll cut him some slack since it's Christmas and all," Alex joked as she opened the door and came face to face with a very shocked Kim and Owen.

Kim was holding her little red haired baby boy and wasted no time passing him into his fathers arms and quickly shoved Alex back a little bit, as she yelled, "Alexandra Cabot what the hell are you doing alive!"

Casey hearing her sister-in-laws voice dropped the pasta she was working on and ran in their direction saying, "Get inside now, Kimberly!"

Grabbing Kim's arm, much to the woman's disgust of the floury mess now covering her jacket she yanked her inside. Owen just shrugged, "Okay," and followed them inside, as Alex scanned the yard for anyone who could have heard the outburst before quickly closing and locking the door.

Kim immediately started pacing, "I can't believe you let us think Alex was dead all those years Casey! Do you know how messed up that is! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Kim," Casey tried to inject.

"So what Casey, have you two just been having a love affair on the side? I mean what the hell does Nicholas think?" Kim ranted before Alex yelled, "Shut up Kim!"

Hearing Alex, Kim quieted and quickly sat down next to Owen. Alex laughed internally. Somehow, she still had power to intimidate Kim Greylek. It always made her laugh. "Kim," Alex began, "Casey didn't know until October that I was still alive. I moved her not knowing she lived here and it turned out that Kale, well Nicky but he goes by Kale now, ended up as one of Casey's students. I by chance moved down the street from her, and Casey came to welcome me to the neighborhood and discovered me. She was just as surprised."

"So, you faked your death? Why?" Kim questioned having trouble taking all this new information in.

Alex sat down in a chair across from Kim, Casey seeing her discomfort with having to confess intervened, "Kim, Nicholas was horribly abusive. Liz and Lexie developed a plan for Kale and Lex to escape and be safe. She's been in hiding since. She hasn't even talked to her mother in eleven years."

"Oh my god, Alex. I am so sorry." Kim whispered.

Hearing the back porch door open, everyone froze waiting for Kale to enter the room. Jake came bounding in first followed by the teenage boy. Kim stood to quickly outstretching her arms to hug the boy, who happily ran to them. "Aunt Kim," he said softly hugging her tight.

"Oh my god, Nicky I thought I'd never see you again." She whispered holding onto the boy.

Stepping out of her embrace, Kale looked at his mothers best friend with all seriousness. It was a look he'd clearly learned from his mother. It was her normal courtroom face. "My name isn't Nicky, it's Kale. I refuse to go by anything associated with that man," he stated coolly.

Kim didn't flinch, she just nodded and replied, "I understand, Kale. Kale, this is my husband Owen, Casey's brother and our son, Billy."

"So it goes..." Kale replied with a grin towards Casey.

"Nailed it!" Casey laughed.

"Oh my god, Casey! I didn't name my son after Billy Pilgrim." Kim groaned as Owen laughed.

"Wait, what did I miss?" Alex questioned super confused.

"Mom, really?" Kale asked confused as to how his mother missed the connection.

"Kurt Vonnegut, baby?" Casey tried to help, but Alex just looked confused, "My other favorite author, Vonnegut," she still hoped the connection would click, but seeing it was futile she just laughed, "Slaughterhouse-Five, sweetheart."

"Oh!" Alex sighed rolling her eyes, "I clearly need to read more."

Owen and Kim laughed, "Join the club!"

Owen smiled at Alex, "Are you sure he isn't hers?"

"He might as well be. We function as a family."

"Well, then welcome to the family," Owen smiled. It was nice to finally see Casey so happy and with the love of her life.

The rest of the visit passed with laughter and love. Casey and Alex were truly amazed at how hands on Kale was with Billy. They even snuck a picture of him asleep with a snoozing Billy in his arms. It really seemed as if they were one big family and that had Casey wishing they really were one. It made her think back to Alex's words at the start of the holiday break and how she really did wish they could get married and have a real family.

The last night of her brothers visit, Casey lay in bed holding Alex. Listening to Alex's easy breaths, Casey asked, "Do you ever think of having another baby?"

"I have, but I can't." Alex answered, before realizing her slip of wording, "I mean not that I physically can't, I just don't think I could emotionally handle being pregnant after losing my last baby. Why do you ask?"

"I never really thought about it as a possibility until now I guess," Casey confessed.

"Case," Alex said looking into her girlfriends dark eyes, "Do you want to have a baby?"

"I think I do. Not right now, but someday sooner than later." Casey admitted.

"I'd love to have a baby with you Casey." Alex said kissing Casey softly.

* * *

Liz Donnelly sat on a park bench in Central Park. She was awaiting her monthly update from her informant. Never was it the same bench or person dropping the information, as to not draw attention to what she was doing.

Seeing a man in a leather jacket walk up and sit next to her, she waited for the single. Suddenly, the man asked her for a light for his cigarette, it was her usual signal. "No," she replied, "I am sorry, I don't smoke any longer."

"Gotcha," he said in a gruff tone. They preceded to exchange small talk regarding the weather and such until they were sure the coast was clear. "Here is what you asked for," the man said, passing her a small envelope before leaving.

Liz was so focused on leaving the park she never noticed the two men that broke apart across the lake. She didn't notice one follow her and one her visitor. She would never realize her error.

She just knew she wouldn't dare open it until she was in the safety of her office. The trip back to the office always seemed much longer these days. She always wanted to see the pictures of her daughter and grandson, she always wanted to be sure they were okay.

Entering her office, she opened the envelope and smiled. There were pictures of Alex and Casey with Kale. Alex and Kale looked so happy. She was finally sure she did the right thing all those years ago...


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I lied. Sorry. I haven't been active at all in updating this story. My bad. Like I said, this story hit close to home and I had to step away from it. Anyway, sorry, I hate when stories are left for to long. So, here I go...**

* * *

"Kale! Hurry up, or you are going to be late!" Alex yelled up the stairs. Hearing the laughter of her beautiful girlfriend she turned to see Casey, popping a cd into the player. "What are you doing?"

As the music filtered into the air and Alex recognized 'Build me up Buttercup' she laughed, "Now you are going to make us late!"

"If I am lucky," Casey said waggling her eyebrows as she pulled Alex into her arms and they began to dance. "If our son is going to make us late we should at least enjoy ourselves," Casey said as she spun Alex, then pulled her back in to dip her.

As Kale reached the top of the stairs, he saw his mother dancing and laughing with Casey. All he could do was smile. He'd never seen his mother so happy, and as far as he was concerned Casey was family, at least more of a parent than his father had ever been. In his mind, this is what homes and family's should be made of love and laughter.

Walking down with his hockey gear, he announced, "I am ready, but are you two?"

The couple stopped dancing, and Casey turned off the music. Alex looked at her son, "Do you have your mouth guard?"

"Yes, Mom!"

"Hey drop the attitude with your mother, she is just trying to keep your million dollar smile safe." Casey quipped as she filled Jake's bowl with food and opened the back door for her approaching family.

As they filed out of the house, and Casey tossed her adoring lab a treat, they were engrossed with talking and laughter. They were so focused on their life and getting to the game that they missed the figure of the man standing just inside the tree line. They missed him completely.

* * *

As the siren sounded announcing, Kale's third goal that night, Alex jumped into Casey's arms as Casey screamed in delight. The couple new Kale had talent, but they had no idea that he was so skilled on the ice. Casey couldn't help but wonder if college recruiters might soon be checking him out.

"Okay, you win. Hockey is awesome." Alex conceded with a big grin as she stole another nacho from Casey.

Grinning at her girlfriend, Casey laughed, "I'm always right."

"No, you are not."

"Yes, I am. Now kiss me," Casey laughed pulling Alex in for a quick peck.

Fifteen minutes later, the game ended and Casey and Alex headed down to collect Kale to go home. Seeing her son joking with his friends, Alex's heart filled with happiness. Before finding Casey and settling back down, he'd never had time to actually make friends.

"Kale!" She called to get his attention as she waved.

The boy parted from his friends and walked over to them. "Hey Mom, Dylan is having a few of the guys over to hang out at his house tonight. Can I go?"

"I don't know. Have I met Dylan?" Alex said, looking to Casey for guidance.

Placing a hand against the small of Alex's back, Casey assured, "I taught Dylan freshman year, he is a good kid. Plus, Michonne has him in her class."

"Okay, I think it's alright then," Alex consented smiling when her son got excited by her answer.

"How about you give your Mom and I your hockey gear though, so you don't have to keep up with it." Casey offered.

"Sounds good," Kale replied running to get his bag.

Alex turned into Casey, "Are you sure this is okay?"

"Yes, baby. I promise when we get home you will be so happy Kale is at a friends." Casey whispered into Alex's ear effectively sending chills through the her body.

Gathering Kale's bag, they told him to call them when he was ready to come home. Walking to the car arm and arm they laughed about how much they were a family. Casey couldn't imagine ever being happier than she was at this moment.

Throwing the bag into the trunk, Casey gave the keys to Alex. "Do you mind driving? My head hurts a bit and I want to take some pills before it gets bad."

"Yeah, baby. Do we need to stop on the way home?"

"No," the redhead assured, "I have aspirin in my backpack, I just don't need the stress of driving."

Alex smiled and climbed into the drivers seat. The drive home seemed a little dark due to the overcast sky, and Casey was predicting snow. Everything seemed peaceful and the redhead was starting to feel relief as they neared their street, until they saw Jake.

Alex slammed on the brakes to the jeep sending a jolt through both of them. "Was that my dog?" Casey blurted at the chocolate lab running across the street and down the hill into the forest.

Alex kept looking into the distance the dog had run, "I think so. How did he get out?"

"I don't know, maybe Kale left that window in the den open. I know I locked the door," Casey said as she opened the glove box and grabbed the spare dog leash and her flashlight. "Go on home and check, I will get him and meet you back there." Alex gave Casey a quick kiss and headed on home as Casey headed into the dark after her dog.

Alex drove down the road and up Casey's drive. The air seemed colder without Casey near, which made Alex smirk and shake her head at the silliness of the thought. Hoping out of the car and walking up to the house she noticed the porch light had blown, but the back door was still locked. Thinking Kale must have left the window open after all and that the house would be freezing she unlocked the back door and walked inside.

To her surprise the house was warm, which seemed odd considering the window. With confusion falling over her face she headed in the direction of the den, attempting to turn on the light in the kitchen, but it wouldn't turn on either. Feeling panicky, Alex continued towards the den only to find the window shut.

Her body began to shake seeing the window and putting the pieces together. Jake was outside, the lights didn't work, and the window was shut. Alex closed her eyes abolishing all her senses of comfort and focusing on her primal need to survive.

She knew he was here, she knew he was near, if it were a sixth sense. She was closer to the front door now. She could make it and find Casey.

Turning, she ran through the dark living room towards the door, her heart pounding in her chest. She didn't see the end table Nicholas had moved, but she felt it as she smacked her right knee against it and went head over feet and collided face first with the wood floor. She couldn't help but cry out in pain.

"You fucking bitch!" Was the next thing she heard. It was Nicholas. The sound of his hate filled voice was enough for her to push up and try to get out. He was to fast for her though, he'd planned it this way. Before she could even get off the floor his booted foot connected with her rib cage flipping her onto her back and knocked the air from her lungs.

"You think you can take my son from me and run off and live with your fucking girlfriend!" Nicholas screamed in rage.

Grabbing Alex by the hair he yanked her to her knees, earning a loud scream to escape her. She use to know how to take his beating in silence, but not anymore. She'd grown comfortable and felt protected by Casey. Casey, he'd hurt Casey too, she'd given the redhead a death sentence by staying her.

Nicholas's cold laugh filled the air as the moonlight seemed to find its way in through the window to bathe them in its glow. She could see the large hunting knife he wielded and the evil stare she'd never seen in his eyes. He laughed again, "You've figured it out haven't you. You know I am going to kill her and you are right, I am." He said running the blade of the knife down Alex's cheek not hard enough to cut her, but enough to tell her he was in control. "I am going to take my time killing her, and then I am going to kill you and take our son home." Removing the knife from her face, he kicked her in the stomach to send her back to the floor and quickly zip tied her hands behind her back before yanking her to her feet.

"Now it's time to prepare for your death, Alexandra." He said as he led her to her bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Let the games begin! :). Don't worry, this chapter is easier, I think. Sorry, if the last chapter was upsetting!**

* * *

Casey ran through the cold night air into the tree line after her dog, only stopping once to look back and watch Alex drive down the road towards home. She knew the walk home wouldn't be fun in the 30 degree weather, but she had to find Jake and Alex needed to fix the issue with the window. Feeling the cold quickly seep through her jacket, Casey shivered and continued after the dog.

"Jake! Jake, come!" Casey called as she flashed the light through the forest. Hearing her dog's tags move ahead of her she flashed the light in the direction of the sound, seeing him she instantly crouched down and gave his whistle before saying again, "Jake, come!"

The chocolate lab instantly bounded over to her. Casey quickly hooked the leash to his collar and gave him a hug. "You naughty boy, how did you get out. Did Kiddo leave that window open, huh? Well, nothing to worry about Mommy and I saw you, and now we are going home."

Now that the dog was hooked to the leash, he happily followed Casey towards home. Casey tired of being so cold, decided to start jogging and quickly made it halfway down her street. As she started to near the end, she slowed to a walk to help her dog wind down, but as she reached her driveway, she frowned. Something wasn't right.

Alex always turned on lights, and there were no lights on. Her jeep was in the drive and so was Alex's car, so she was clearly inside. Jake was outside and the house has no power. As if on autopilot, Casey tore off to the neighbors house.

Reaching the door, she began banging rather uncontrollably. Seeing her neighbor, Lisa, approach the door, she stopped long enough for the blonde to open up. "Lisa, I need you to take Jake and call the cops."

"What? Why?" The blonde asked in confusion.

"Someone's in my house. Call them please, right now. Here," she said in a panicky tone passing Lisa the dog's leash. "Tell them the homeowner will be armed."

"Why, are you going back? Wait here." Lisa called after Casey.

Casey didn't stop to respond. She didn't have time to argue. She had to figure out how she'd get back into the house unseen, and if it was Nicholas inside, where he had Alex. Running to the garage off the house, Casey quickly unlocked the side door and made her way to the back storage closet. Opening the closet door, she walked inside to the large safe.

Casey had her dads old rifles and a hand gun from when she use to live in New York in the safe. They use to be stored inside a locked cabinet in the den, but Alex had asked her to move them when she and Kale moved in. At the time, Casey had thought it was a silly move, but she didn't argue, if it made Alex feel safer it was worth it. Funny part was, at this point it worked in their favor.

Quickly punching in the code and turning the lock bars the safe opened. Grabbing her Glock and loading the magazine, Casey turned and headed back to the house. She was a great shot and never missed a target. Her father had taken the time to teach both her and Owen how to handle a weapon with skill in case they ever needed to protect themselves, it was something she'd never needed, but at this moment she said a silent prayer of thanks to him. Hopefully, she still wouldn't need the skill, but if it came to it, she was prepared to protect Alex.

Making her way quietly across the yard, Casey heard a muffled scream sounding as if it was coming from their bedroom. Running towards the master bedroom windows, she carefully peeked in to see Alex zip tied laying on the floor as Nicholas stood waiting near the doorway. Nicholas appeared to only be wielding a knife which was definitely to Casey's advantage.

She figured he would want her to come in the back door, he would be ready for that. Little did he know she wanted the element of surprise. If being a military brat had taught her anything, it was the element of surprise had its advantages, and in this case she needed the upper hand. Alex's life depended on it.

Sneaking to the bathroom window, she said a silent prayer that she left the window unlocked near the tub. Trying it, she discovered she had and eased it up. Slowly, climbing inside she righted herself and quietly headed towards the bedroom. Standing just inside the bathroom, she loaded a bullet into the chamber and turned into the room stopping dead in her tracks at the sight before her.

"Didn't think I knew how you love to open the window while you are in the bath?" Nicholas smirked as he held Alex upright with the blade of his knife digging against her neck. "I have been watching you both for a while. You two aren't smart about security for sure, hiding a key under the plantar. Although, I will say the gun is a surprise. Where were you hiding that?"

"Let her go, Nicholas." Casey demanded.

"I have a better plan. Why don't you put that gun down and kick it over here, or I will slit her throat."

His grip on Alex was tight, and Casey could see how defeated she looked. Her lip was busted and she clearly looked like she was in pain and in a total daze, as if she'd completely disassociated. Seeing her like that fueled Casey with rage. "Let her go!"

"I said no!" Nicholas screamed. In that moment, Casey knew there was no negotiating with him.

As Nicholas started to yell again, he was quickly cut off by the sound of Casey firing the gun. The bullet soared through the air and connected with Nicholas's skull with a sickening sound. He instantly crumpled backwards to the ground taking Alex with him.

The second her body hit the wood floor, Alex let out a blood curdling scream. Emptying her gun of the ammunition at lightening speed, Casey tossed it to the bed and rushed to Alex's side. Scooping the brunette up in her arms she carried her through the house and out to the front porch. Holding Alex tight in her arms, Casey finally spoke, "You are safe, Lex. You are finally safe now."

Alex didn't say a word, she just clutched on tight to Casey and cried. Hearing the police sirens nearing, Casey whispered, "No matter what happens, Alexandra Donnelly, I love you and he can never hurt you again."

Alex looked up into Casey's eyes, and whispered, "Thank you." Laying her head against Casey's shoulder, she whispered, "I love you."

The next few hours passed in slow motion. Casey spoke to the police and explained everything, the paramedics took Alex on to the hospital to be checked out, and Nicholas was removed from the house. Finally, the police cleared Casey to leave seeing that it truly was self defense, and Casey rushed to the hospital.

As she reached the hospital parking lot, Andrea and Michonne called to say Alex was actually being discharged soon. Parking her jeep, Casey just sat in the seat and let the cold air overtake her senses. Finally, she couldn't handle it any longer and she burst into tears.

She could have permanently lost Alex tonight, and she was lucky she didn't. She was lucky she was such a good shot, she was lucky that Nicholas hadn't killed her before she got there, she was lucky Kale stayed at a friends house. No, they were lucky.

Wiping her tears, she climbed from the car and walked numbly across the lot to the emergency entrance. Telling the nurse that she was there for Alex, they showed her to her girlfriends room. Casey held the door handle for a moment before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

The moment her eyes caught Alex's blue ones, Casey lost her resolve and burst into tears. Walking forwards, she kept saying, "I'm so sorry," over and over. Michonne and Andrea took the opportunity to sneak out of the room, as Casey sat on the bed next to Alex.

Alex grabbed Casey's hands and squeezed, "You have nothing to be sorry for, you saved me."

"I'm sorry he ever hurt you."

"It's over now, thanks to you. You saved me." Alex said again with a warm smile.

At that moment, Casey noticed Alex wasn't crying. She seemed calm and relaxed. "You are okay?"

"Yeah, minus the busted lip, and a few broken ribs and lots of wicked bruises, but yes, I am okay, Casey, and we get to go home. Although, can we sleep upstairs till the bedroom is cleaned?"

Casey chuckled a little, "I figured you might say that. Lisa actually offered to get her cousins cleaning crew to come out and clean it tomorrow once the cops were gone. I got us a suite for the night, and Kale is sleeping over at his friends house. By the way, your mom is coming to visit this week."

Alex laughed then groaned from the rib pain. "You were busy."

"I was panicky and they wouldn't let me go until I was cleared by forensics. Luckily, they let me have my phone." Casey sighed as Alex pulled her close.

"Come snuggle with me, till they let us go." Alex whispered.

Casey sighed into Alex's neck, "Always."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Wrapping it all up. :) I hope you all enjoyed. Thank you for your reviews and support, as always they help make my stories come to life. Lexicabot, hopefully this makes up for it. Also, I would like to thank you Starshine for all your amazing help! :)**

* * *

 **Two years later...**

Alex woke to the sunlight streaming in through the bedrooms windows. Stretching lightly, she rolled onto her side to look at her beautiful wife. So much had changed over the last couple of years, and Alex had no one to thank more for it than Casey.

After Nicholas's death, Alex resumed her identity except she took back her maiden name before taking Novak. Additionally Kale, legally changed his name wanting nothing to do with his late father, and after they were married, Casey legally adopted him. They toyed with the idea of returning to New York, but in the end decided that they enjoyed the smaller life they had now and didn't want to disrupt Kale's life by pulling him away from his friends.

So, they moved out of Casey's house to shed the last of Nicholas and into an old farmhouse that had been fixed up. It was a beautiful home with lots of French doors and a wrap around porch. Plus, it sat on a gorgeous piece of land with a creek bordering one side and a garden on the other. Life seemed perfect in this house, and Casey and Alex wasted no time adding to their family.

After almost two years of being together, they decided to adopt. They liked having a more flexible life and decided to adopt an older child versus having a baby. So, after talking with the local agency they ended up fostering their soon to be younger son, Ben.

Ben was a happy five year old, and he adored Kale. He truly seemed to mix perfectly with their family. The dark haired tan skinned child, had been placed in the system as a young toddler and due to medical issues at the time hadn't been placed with a family, so in a way he was just as happy to have them as they were to have him. Casey and Alex enjoyed nothing more than watching their boys run in the yard with Jake, or playing in the creek with them hunting salamanders. Life seemed quite perfect.

Seeing Casey, roll over Alex grinned. They were both still naked from their activities the night before and no one was awake yet. Moving to Casey's side, she began kissing down the redheads neck as she lightly brushed her thumb over an exposed nipple. Earning an appreciative sigh, Alex smiled against Casey's collarbone before continuing her descent.

As she reached the hard bud, she placed a soft kiss to it before flicking her tongue over it and sucking it into her mouth, earning a gasp in response as Casey arched her back and grasped Alex's head. Her reaction made Alex want to take her right then, but she wanted to go as slow as possible for the minute. Slowly, she kissed over to the other nipple teasing it just as much, before kissing her way back up to capture Casey's lips in a passionate kiss.

As they parted Alex pushed up, being sure to press herself against Casey to drive them both a little mad. Casey grinned at her blonde wife as she ran her hands up her exquisite body to cup her breasts and rub her thumbs over her sensitive nipples. As Alex's breath caught in her throat, Casey whispered, "I want you."

"Yeah? How?" Alex asked as Casey rolled them over and sucked a nipple into her mouth, teasing it till Alex was moaning softly. Moving to the other, she waited till the blonde was begging for more to break away and ask, "What do you want, Alexandra? Tell me and I will do it."

Alex smirked at Casey. She loved how the redhead liked to steal control in their love making. "Mouth, I want you to make me come with your mouth."

Casey wasted no time kissing down the blondes body and settling between her legs. Seeing just how wet Alex was for her made her gasp a little in excitement as she moved in and slowly ran her tongue through the blonde. After a few long licks of her tongue that made Alex whimper, Casey began to work her clit, loving how Alex instantly grasped for a handful of her hair.

The feeling of Casey's talented tongue working her clit had Alex mumbling incoherently. Reaching the edge, she quickly came panting Casey's name. Casey helped her ride out her orgasm before slowly pulling away and kissing her way back up her wife's body.

Kissing Alex lazily, Casey said a silent prayer of thanks for her wife. Feeling Alex's hand brush her own swollen clit, Casey gasped against her lips. "I want to make you come," Alex whispered.

Casey let out a small laugh as she smiled against her wife's lips. "Then do."

Alex wasted no time and easily slipped two fingers into Casey, finding that spot and moving against it fast enough to give Casey pleasure, but not enough to make her come. It took only a minute or two for Casey to beg, "Please, please make me come."

Alex didn't make her beg again, she instantly sped up and rubbed her clit with her free hand. Casey couldn't control herself as she came a little to loudly moaning Alex's name and bucking her hips. Alex loved making Casey come, to see her in that state of pleasure was breathtaking. Then again, she loved making love to her wife in general.

Casey collapsed onto the bed next to Alex nothing more than a panting mess. Seeing the grinning blonde, she smiled. "I love you, Lexie."

"I love you too, Casey." Alex smiled. "Let's get a shower and make the kiddos breakfast."

"Sure," Casey mumbled against the percale sheets.

* * *

Late that afternoon, Alex and Casey sat snuggled together on the porch swing watching Kale teach Ben how to kick a soccer ball. The sun was fast moving behind the mountains causing the sky to begin to change different shades of blue while at the same time making the grass and trees look greener. Moments like these made life seem absolutely perfect, like nothing bad had ever happened in their lives.

Looking at her wife, Alex kissed Casey's cheek. "I love you, Casey. I am so happy I get to spend my life with you."

Smiling, Casey touched her forehead to her wife's, "I thank God everyday for you."

Alex lightly kissed her wife again, "I thank him too everyday for you. I am sorry we missed the years we did, but I am so thankful that we get to spend the rest of our lives together with our children."

"Me too. When we were in law school I never imagined our lives would be like this, but I am happy this is the way it turned out."

Alex frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I thought we'd be big time prosecutors and live in the city. However, I love our lives. I love that you like being a mom and I love teaching. I love spending long uninterrupted holidays together and getting to visit New York, but not live there. I love grilling out and watching our kids play in the yard. We wouldn't have had this life without the events that happened, but I am happy how everything turned out for us." Casey explained.

"I agree. I love this life so much better. I just love getting to live for myself and getting to really spend quality time as a family."

"Exactly. I love you and our life." Casey laughed jumping up, "Let's go live it with a game of soccer."

"I couldn't have said it better!" Alex exclaimed jumping up and running out into the yard before Casey.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Casey yelled running after them. She laughed, thinking, 'Life really couldn't be any better than this...'


End file.
